Me

Today

The eyes that once said "I love you"
Today no longer speak...audibly
This journey has been long.
The lessons learned irreplaceable
The love felt unshakable
In all things painful
There is still a purpose
God held us through  it all
Proving himself over & over
Today my father can walk & talk
For the first time in years
I can only imagine
The conversation he must
Be having today
With Jesus.

This Old Tree

Sheltered between
The strong branches
Of this old tree
A tomboy climbs high
Not satisfied until
Every limb
Has been conquered
Maneuvered
Its as if she has
Become one with
These branches
Outstretched arms
Grasping, pulling
Struggling for just
One more level
Reaching the top
Looking out
Over the world
That she longs
To explore
Longs to see
Longs to belong in
Until then, she will
Just be satisfied
With the view
She has found
Nestled within
The santuary
Of this old tree.

Kristy Turnage
6-14-2013

Remembrance

Content with the breeze
As it carries the scent
Of honey-suckle...
Along her path of
Remembrance
She sat back
Just moving
With her mind
Traveling back in time
To a field of flowers
Growing wild and free
This is her
Place of rest
This is also where her heart
Runs as free as the wind.

Hunter

Sitting so perfectly still...beautiful purple dress...diaper peeking out just enough to be seen. Hair pulled back-single pony-tail. Escaping stray hairs making a mockery of her mothers brushing. Eyes so blue, so bright, they can't be denyed their magnificance. With each look she takes in the newness of life. All its wonders so fresh...so full of all the first times to come. Her fascinations with a kitty that struggles to escapes her chubby little hands. She chases until the prize is securely in her hands. It struggles to get free, yet she holds it close. Rubbing it as softly as she knows. Pouring out all the love her little heart possesses. Making sure to be so gentle...she slowly set her kitty free. Scampering off....only to find that the very one that had set her free...was chasing her once aga in. Two peas in a pod...she thought they were the very best of friends...playmates. A girl, 2 1/2 and the only friend she knew...her kitty.
6-14-2013
Kristy Turnage

Silence

I grieve and mourn
In the silence of my soul
Crying out desperately
For someone to hear me
For anyone to hear my cry
Laying down the mask
That has covered me
Sheltered me
Protected me
But has also been a lie
Now I find myself
Face down on the ground
Crying out to a God
I'd forsaken

Kristy Turnage
5-30-13

Poems

The saddest
Poem ever
Is the one
Never written
5/29/2013
K.F.T.

Majestic

All it takes is a soft breeze
And the dance begins
Branches intermingled
Reaching out...swaying to a single tune
Heard only to those engaged in the dance
A beautiful love song

K.F.T.
05-28-3013

Shadows

Intricately weaved
One strand at a time
So completely that its
No longer understood
Which is which
Blended...over and over
Until only the shadow
Of what was once
A seperate strand
Emerges.
K.F.T.
5-28-2013

Live

To live and die
Having gone un-noticed
Is surely
The saddest tragedy.

The River

Gliding gently down the river
Taking in each moment
Appreciating the beauty
That can only be seen
Off the beaten path.
Peace and comfort
Welcome me here
With open arms.
~Kristy Turnage ~

Trees

Twisting branches
Reaching out
Towering tall
Sheltering those
That seek
It's refuge.
~Kristy Turnage~

A New Day

It’s a new day.
Full of possibilities...and new chances…
The slate has been wiped clean.
A canvas ready to be painted…
Ready to be filled with the bright, radiant colors of life…
This day can be filled with laughter...
The kind that is genuine and full of life...
This day can be spent with the knowledge...
That this~is a day of purpose...
Orchestrated and destined…long before this day ever drew near.
This day holds hope in its hand.
Hope for a better appreciation of time.
Time that should never be taken for granted.
Life lived with purpose is the goal...
Love given and love received...
Unconditionally~woven throughout this day.
No longer held back with yesterday’s decisions or worries...
Today is the day of new beginnings....
Not to be spent with over-analyzing or dissecting motives...
But to~just~be~lived.
So live this day to the fullest....
No regrets....
Carpe diem...
Seize the day.

Kristy Turnage
03/11/2013

 

Just The Ramblings Of A Writer

I know what its like to...hold on...
When all else fails...
To hold to that very thing that...sustains you...
That keeps you grounded and centered...
During those times of heartache...and pain...
I have clung to even the most minute ounce of hope.
I have held out for the impossible...
I have sought after the incredible...
I have trusted in truth...
I know what its like to...let go...
To just let be...what shall be...
To stop struggling within...with insecurities...
With doubt...with indecision...
To just lay down all the hurts...
All the pain...all the dreams...
I know what it's like to question...
My very purpose...my reason for being...
So many..."Why me" moments...
Are now behind me...gone...
From even those...lessons are learned.
I heard someone say once...
That its the creative...artistic folks...in life...
That seem to struggle the most.
I almost laughed...not sure what the actual stats are on that study...
Just know that we all have our fair share.
Life at times...has a way of handing out some crappy cards.
But I also know what it is to be thankful...
For a heritage that is beyond measure...
For a family that loves without question...
For friendships that are beyond words...
For experiences and opportunities that have made me...me.
Some amazing...some not so kind...and some beyond description...
For the simple pleasures in life...
For heart-felt moments...
For words shared...
But most importantly...
For the...unspoken.


Kristy Turnage
8/20/2011

The dichotomy of...me.

When in doubt...write...right? That has always been my moto...my escape to some degree....my outlet...my way of expressing...my thoughts...my dreams...my heart...me. When the heaviness of my world...weights as boulders upon my shoulders...giving me no relief...I write...I pour it out...the words that demand to be said...spoken...as if I have no say-so at all ...in the matter. A burden so heavy at times that I find that I am a slave to the weight...to the words. Writing is my way of pouring it all out...all that is...in me...all that is...me.  Some things...I welcome...the letting go of...good riddance...I can't let go fast enough...and then there are times that I find...that I FIGHT...within myself....to hold onto...for just a bit longer...to those things that I deemed...as necessary...as real...those things that...to me went beyond description...beyond explanation...beyond labels...beyond words. Dichotomy...oh how I have grown to hate that word...cause for me it represents...a division...a separation...of what I thought...verses...what I think...what I know...do you know just how frustrating that is?  Wishing I could whip the slate clean...un-do....all that...has undone me. To not know...what I know...Oh how delusional that sounds...knowing that we can't learn the lesson...without the test...have the resolution...minus the trial...have the victory...without the battle scars...to feel nothing but love...and none of the lose. If only it was as simply as writing it all out...and being done with it. Life...sometimes is just not that easy. As if...putting it on paper...could erase all of life's hurts...all the pain...all the deception...some hurts can't let go of us so easily...some I guess we have to trust that time will take care of.

Kristy Turnage
5/27/2011

Unique

Truly...we are all a part of something...
That is so much greater...than ourselves.
Greater than what we could ever imagine...
Yet, still defined by the power of one.

K.Turnage
5-15-2011

Still Learning

I have come to realize that sometimes...and maybe even most times...that it's in the valley's of our lives...and when we are at our weakest...that we really find out how great our God is...and what He is capable of...how strong He is...and just how far His love reaches. If you know me at all...then you know that I am hands down...a Daddy's girl. Now don't think for one minute that I care any less for my Mama...cause I don't...but I am reconciled to the fact that a Daddy's girl...I am. For those that know my family...then you know that my father can no longer walk on his own...his speech is severely impaired...and he can no longer see as he once could. My mother is his primary caregiver 24 hours a day...everyday. On Sunday...Father's Day...in the midst of having all my family over for the Father's Day celebration, my mama shared this precious truth with me. If my memory serves me correctly...we were talking about diets (of all things)...when the conversation changed quickly as mama said..."Kristy, I told your daddy this morning...that I pray to God every morning...that He(God)...will help me...to be strong enough "today"...to take care of him(my daddy)"...and that one statement touched my heart. It went to the very core of who I am. I honestly, don't think she even realized just how much that one sentence moved me. How many of us are that selfless? To pray for strength for ourselves is one thing...but to pray for strength...for someone else...I admit...that goes beyond my normal scope of prayer. Forgive me, Lord. At 40...I am still learning from my folks...on how to live...how to love...and how to trust...and for that I am so ever thankful!

Kristy Turnage
5/8/2011

The measure...

The true measure of a person...
Is not in the great feats they master...
Or in the following they have...
Nor the amount of money they make.
It can't be found in their title...or their schooling...
It can't be gauged by the accolades they acquire...
Nor the amount of people that look to them...as a leader...
It's not in their abilities...or in their deficiencies...
It's not something that you can acquire...or learn...or come to believe...
It's not in the size of their estate...or the number of associates that scramble at their feet...
It's not in the accomplishments they have made...at all...
The measure of a person...is always revealed in the heart...of that person...
It is seen in how they're willing to "go to bat" for that one that is being ridiculed?
It is seen in the person that rises to the challenge of defending those that can't defend themselves...
It is seen in the person that hurts for those those around them...that hurt...
It is seen in the person that is willing to defend those that are in need...
And those that have been abused...those left broken...and used.
Defending those that have stood alone...but can now...no longer stand...on their own...
Rescuing those that no longer have the strength to stand...against their accusers...
It is seen in the person that goes without...all...so that someone else can have...some...
It is seen in the person that chooses be a voice...for those that no longer can find their own...
It is seen in the one that holds the spoon to the mouth...of the one that no longer can hold the spoon...
It is seen in the person...that continuously sacrifices self...without thought of recoupment...
It is seen in the person that has a heart for others...
I would rather be the person...or associate with the person...that is moved to do the right thing...because in their heart...even though maybe they, themselves can't fully explain it...
They are just moved...to do so...to always place others first...
That...is the measure of a person.

Kristy Turnage
5/12/2011

My Words...My Truth

So I find myself…here…
With so many thoughts…
Things on my heart…
Words…
See…that’s what I keep coming back to…
Words….
That one word…speaks…volumes…
It’s never just words…not to me…
To me they mean…so much more…
They signify…truth…honor…integrity…
A bond…revelation shared…
Honesty…declared…
Understood…trusted…
A gift…shared…
So many things…
But never…Ever…“Nothing“…
My words matter…
They count…
Not spoken in vain…
Not shared...to take up space…
Not to make light of...pain...
Never to fill a void…
Sometimes…to put in place…
Not to be overlooked....
Dismissed...or displaced...
They are no longer mere letters...
Held together on paper…
Being accompanied by sounds and syllables…
No…they are now a testament of truth…
My truth…
And at the end of the day…
That’s what I am left with…
My words…
My truth.

Kristy Turnage

2/16/2011

The Conduit

Sometimes...
In my mind...it's as if...I can still see her...
That girl...12 years old...so clearly...
Bare-footed...tom-boy...and by appearance...tough...
Only she knows the truth...that within...she is so tender...
So easily broken...bruised...simply by the words spoken...
Denim shorts...red and white quarter length sleeve shirt...
So determined...and with a confidence...
No...correction...not confidence...
It's a desperation that moves her forward...
Desperate to be free of this heaviness...
At 12...she feels as though she is carrying...
The weight of the world...on her shoulders...
A desperation...that she is beginning to know too well...
She finds herself...as if...on a mission...
Heading down that old dirt path...
That same path...that she has walked...
So many times before...
Taking her to that old familiar place...
Her place...to pour it all out...
Quiet...alone...content to just sit...
Her place to think...to contemplate...
To try and understand...all that has happened...
To try to make sense of it all...to grow...
With all the strength this girl possesses...she continues on...
Arms swinging...back and forth...as her stride becomes faster...
Her mind so aware...of what her heart feels...and the weight she carries...
Picking up the pace now...time is of the essence...
She reaches her destination...throwing herself to the ground...
Her knees hitting the ground as her hands follow...
Head bowed...her face so close to the dirt...that she can actually smell it...
It is here...that she finds solace...rest for her soul....
It's here...that she learned to cry out to God...
Down here...at the plant-bed...that she first began to pour-out...
It's here that the tears fall...freely to the ground...
Washing away all her pain...all her secrets...all her hurts...
All those things that have weighed... so heavy on her....
All the hurts she has seen...and heard...felt...
It's here that she realizes...that she can be free...
Weightless...empty of it all...
By giving it all over...to God...
It's here...that she began to understand the difference...
Between the pain...and the gift...
It's here that she began to see...
That she is just the...
Conduit...
...from which the gift should flow...
  
Kristy Fields Turnage
3-26-2011