"Now"

Beyond all your yesterdays...
Every hurt, every pain, every fear...
Beyond the memories of past disappointments...
Beyond the many tears...
Beyond the many heartaches...
Wrong decisions that were made...
Beyond the broken relationships...
Beyond the hurts that still remain...
But...not yet in tomorrow...
Those things that are still to come...
The struggles with..what might be...
Anxiety over the unknown.
Over the maybe's or the what if's...
Those things yet to be seen..
The worry, the panic, the fear...
The uneasiness that creep into your dreams...
So don't get caught up in what was...
Or what could...possibly be....
Instead keep your eyes on this moment...
Shut out all the noise and...just breath...
This is the moment that counts...
So live life to the fullest...live it large and live it loud....
Once this moments gone...you can't get it back...
So never loose sight of the "NOW".

Kristy Turnage
4-27-2010

Perfect -- No

There are no perfect people....In this world of imperfection...
None that have not fallen...None that are without a past....
None that don't carry secrets...None that have not suffered...
At the hands of another...None that don't bare the scars...
None that are unaffected...By their own insecurities...
If I've ever given you the impression...
That my life is perfect....Or that I have it all  together...
Or that I am without sin....Or that I have not made wrong decisions...
Then please let me be the very first to say....I am so sorry...you have been misled...
Or if your impression of me is that...I think I am better than you in any way....
Then you truly don't know me at all...Truth is.....
I have known what its like to suffer at the hands of another...
I have known what it's like to live in fear...
I have known what it's like to keep the secret...
I have known what it's like to fear for my life...
And to fear for the very lives of those that I love more than life...
I have known what its like to be hurt beyond measure...
To be  told over and over again that I deserved it...That I was nothing...
That I even asked for it....That if I had just kept my mouth shut...
Or if I said anything it would be worse the next time...
Perfect---No...
I have made more mistakes than can be counted...
I have had my innocence stolen...I have suffered in silence....
I have had to keep the secret....For years................
I do not live under the illusion that I am perfect...
By any stretch of the term....I have been my own worst enemy....
Never good enough...Never pretty enough...
Never smart enough...Most of my entire life...
Not because I wanted to be a victim.....
But because I believed that I was.....
I have even suffered at my own hand....
Decisions made in haste...
Decisions based on feeling and not wisdom...
To my own detriment....Not giving heed to wisdom....
I know what its like to constantly ask...The same questions over and over...
"What is wrong with me?"..."Why do I feel different?"
"Why did that have to happen to me?"..."Where was my knight in shining armor?"
But you know what?????? I am unique in who I am...but...
No different than every other person on this planet....
Truth is we have all suffered....
At some point we all ask the very same questions...
The difference is....
I am no longer content to live with that mindset...That I am beneath anyone or anything...
I accept the fact that I have made mistakes....Plenty.....
I also accept the fact that life is not fair...I accept the fact that I am who I am....
And you know what???
I am amazing....I am beautiful...intelligent...talented....creative...compassionate...
Caring...gifted...social and loving...I am who I am...not in spite of what I have experienced....
But because of what I have experienced...Don't misunderstand...It does not in any way define WHO I am...But it does give me a platform to stand on and help others...
That have also known abuse at the hands of another...
I say all this not so that you will pity me..please don't feel sorry for me....that is not the purpose of this...The purpose is this...there is life after abuse...we are called to not only survive...but to thrive...Learn to walk in forgiveness...love with all that is in you... and live your life large. Don't allow what happened in your past to steal your future...or more importantly...your today...right now...this moment...the only one that truly matters.
Kristy Turnage
4-20-10

 

Our Worth

Why is it so hard for some of us to see our own worth...our value...our goodness...for some of us its a daily struggle to rise above the negative self images...that seem to perpetuate our thoughts...we search for our value in the eyes of others... we are starving to be affirmed by those around us...we seek our validation in ways that prove our talent...our skills...our abilities....we seek this validation but we seek it in the wrong places...Until we get the revelation ourselves...we will continue to question our own worth...and will continued to be swayed by the opinions of others...Its only when we truly realize that we are absolutely beautiful...not because of our looks...not because of our abilities...not because of things we have done...we are beautiful because of who we are...simply beautiful...created beautiful....
Kristy Turnage
2-14-2010

The Unexpected

In the solitude of just one moment....
Everything can change....
Taking you so completely by surprise...
Making it so hard to breath...
In the matter of one moment...
Your whole world changes...
In your mind you had it all figured out...
Your life...beginning through to the end...
Then the rules changed....
In that one moment...it all changes...
The news that you never thought you'd get...
Taking your very breath away...
It leaves you feeling so small....
In a world that is so over-whelming...
Leaves you searching for an answer...
To that question....why?
No answer comes...
So you are left with the realization...
Of just how short life really is...
Enjoy it...live it...Love...
Cause in the blink of an eye...
It can all change...
So unexpectedly...

Kristy Turnage
2/16/2010

God's Attention To Detail

I am so amazed at God's attention to detail. That there is absolutely nothing that escapes His attention. I believe that people are brought into our lives for a purpose. Whether it's to be an encouragment, or maybe a sounding board or maybe just to be a reminder to us of who we are and what we are to stand for. But always for a purpose. Even when we are blind and can't see it, or deaf and can't hear it, or just can't for whatever reason perceive it...there is still a purpose...and I believe that the purpose will eventually be revealed to us. To help grow us into the person that God intends for us to be. I am just absolutely blown away with the realization of His absolute attention to detail today. Amazing...

Be Yourself

Never allow the expectations of others to determine...who you are...what you say...how you act...or even how you react...Be you...and if that is not enough for them...then let them go.

Kristy Turnage 

10/14/2009

A New Day

A New Day

Its a new day...
Full of possibilities...new chances..
The slate has been wiped clean...
A canvas ready to be painted...
Ready to be filled with the bright radiant colors of life...
This day can be filled with laughter...
The kind that is genuine and full of life...
This day can be spent with the knowledge...
That this is a day of purpose...
Orchestrated long before this day ever drew near.
This day holds hope in its hand...
Hope for a better appreciation of time...
Time that should never be taken for granted..
Life lived with purpose is the goal...
Love given and love received...
Unconditionally...woven throughout this day.
No longer held back with yesterdays decisions or worries...
Today is the day of new beginnings....
Not to be spent with over-analyzing or dissecting motives...
But to just be lived....
So live this day to the fullest....
No regrets....
So thankful for this new day.


Kristy Turnage
12/27/2009

Beautiful

In the innocence of who we are...
We seek out the truth in those around us...
Trusting and believing...
That we will find in them...
The very same truths that are evident in our lives...
In doing that....we do them such a disservice...
We have in fact only set them up for immediate failure.
Because we have set the bar by our standards...
And not taken into account...
Their life experiences....
And how those very experiences...
Have shaped them into the very person that they are.
Moral of the story.....
Always take the time to really get to know someone..
Before you label them as odd...or different...or just not "up to par"...
Truth be known....you really have no idea at all....
The life experiences that they have had to endure...
We are each different...in so many ways...
And it is those very differences that make up our individuality.
Special....unique..and yes sometimes a little odd...
But always...always....BEAUTIFUL.

Serenity

Alone for just a moment...
Just listening to the sounds...
Seagulls in the distance....
The waves crashing down.
The sounds of children laughing...
The breeze upon my face...
The sounds of serenity....
Abundant in this place.
Every breeze takes with it...
A worry and a care...
As each wave goes out....
There's one less burden to bare.
Until all is stripped away....
And I am completely at peace...
Content to stay in this place...
Where every worry
must cease.

Kristy Turnage
4/4/2010

The Cover Up

Covering up

Why is it that we cover our hurts?
Usually with a joke or a smile....
Playing it off...as if... we really don't care?
But the whole time....we are dying inside...
We cover so well at times...that we even convince ourselves...
That it really doesn't matter...
And truthfully...in the end...it may not matter...
In the big scheme of things...
But for today...this moment...it is huge...
It is life altering...and our world stands still...
Refusing to move past this momentous event...
But no one knows...cause we choose to conceal it...
We put on the smile...you know...the one that we've practiced...
Over and over...
It fools 'em every time...
Fools everyone...but us...
We live out this moment...in our own time...
Until one day...we realize...
That it was just one more life lesson...
That we needed to learn...
Somehow...it's the hurt's and the struggles...
That we endure in life...
That eventually make us stronger.


Kristy Turnage
3-15-2010

Words

Sometimes I think its just easier to not say anything at all...
Struggling to find the right words...the soft words...
The words that will bring comfort and hope...
The words that cause you to search your own soul...
Life changing words...revelation...truth...

Words that will build up and not destroy...
Words that will lift the spirit...not tear it down...
Sometimes its not even the words that are chosen...
But in how they are delivered that makes all the difference...
There are times that the words just flow...
Its as though they are just meant to be said...
Almost as if I have no choice in the matter...
They demand to be written...
The weight of them so heavy on my heart...
That to not pen them...pains me...
Its as though I carry the burden of the unsaid...
The weight of which only I can feel...
The words that need to be spoken...
Once penned...I can finally exhale...
The burden lifted...

Kristy Turnage
2-21-2010

 

The Covering

Why is it that we cover our hurts?
Usually with a joke or a smile....
Playing it off...as if... we really don't care?
But the whole time....we are dying inside...
We cover so well at times...that we even convince ourselves...
That it really doesn't matter...
And truthfully...in the end...it may not matter...
In the big scheme of things...
But for today...this moment...it is huge...
It is life altering...and our world stands still...
Refusing to move past this momentous event...
But no one knows...cause we choose to conceal it...
We put on the smile...you know...the one that we've practiced...
Over and over...
It fools 'em every time...
Fools everyone...but us...
We live out this moment...in our own time...
Until one day...we realize...
That it was just one more life lesson...
That we needed to learn...
Somehow...it's the hurt's and the struggles...
That we endure in this life...
That will eventually make us stronger.


Kristy Turnage
3-15-2010