Where We Meet

Desperately Seeking…searching for more…
In need of you…I’m face down on the floor…
The silence is golden…yet at times so loud…
Purely I’m seeking...As your presence abounds…
Set apart in this moment…Holy…unto this place…
A sanctuary in this closet…I’m just seeking your face…
No longer surrounded…by mere clothes and shoes…
Now in your presence…it’s your heart that I choose…
My hands lifted before you…Desiring to be filled…
Refusing to leave this place…until your heart for me is revealed…
I have been waiting for you…and I have felt the weight…
My heaviness the result of distance…now more than I can take…
I am as the woman…that fought through the crowd…
So much confusion…Their voices so loud…
Hoping for not just a glimpse…but in need of a touch…
I come to where we meet…needing you so much…
If I can but touch you here…where all things are made new…
Made whole…complete…perfected…in you.
Kristy Turnage
5-23-2010

My Superman

How do I begin..."Thank you"...
For so many things...really...
Those two words seem so absolutely empty...
They sound so hollow…when being compared...
With the heart behind those words...
Those words can't express what my heart feels...
What it has always felt...for you...
They don't tell you how much you mean to me...
How could they? Some things felt just can't be made verbal...
They can only be felt...lived out loud...experienced...
All the" I Love You's" tallied up...Would never even come close...
To revealing or relaying what my heart feels for you...
I think back to the beginning...my beginning...
How when I was small...all I ever wanted was to be like you...
If you ate it or drank it...I did too...
If you were going...I wanted to go too...
I wanted so badly to be like you...to make you proud...
My hero...my superman...my daddy...
There was nothing too hard for you...
Nothing you couldn't do...No feat too large...
I told you yesterday...that you were my superman...
And you looked at me...crying...shaking your head...
And you said...over and over,"No, I'm not superman"...
"I ain't nothing"...and so many tears...
And I told you then..."Yes, Daddy, you are"...
"In my eyes...you always have been"...
"And always will be"...no matter what…larger than life...
I know you feel as though this disease...
Has stolen so many things from you...and it has...
Your vision...your balance...your speech...
Your ability to do for yourself...
And I can't imagine how hard that must be for you...
A man who has worked so hard all of his life...
But daddy...let me say...no matter what this disease takes...
There are some things that it can never take away...
And that is...the man that you are…and always will be...in my eyes...
Nothing will ever change that...not time...and not this disease...
I've often thought...that a father has three jobs...
And they are…To love his family...to provide for his family...
And to protect his family...and you have done all those things...
And done them well…Lovingly...willingly...so selflessly...
You are....and always will be...no matter what…
Super-natural...super-human...super-hero...
My Superman...

Kristy Turnage
5-17-2010

Isolate

I wish I had the words to express…

Everything that I need to express…

And I am so aware of the fact...

That I NEED to express it…

But my mind says to just shut down…

That no one else needs or wants…

To know how or what I am feeling…

I just want to shut myself off from everyone…

I don’t want to talk to anyone…

I don’t want to interact with anyone…

I just want to close myself off from everyone around me…

Isolate…hide…find refuge in my self…

My thoughts…my hopes…my dreams…

Sometimes that’s the only place we feel safe…

No people…no condemnation…no judgment…

Only me…and my thoughts…my hurts…

But there is still that need within me…

That need I have to be heard…

And for someone to say that “It’s okay”…

That everything is going to be “okay”…

That I’m okay…

And that time will come…

That message will come…

But for right now…

This moment…

This very second…

I will take the time I need…

To isolate…

Kristy Turnage

3-9-10

Ever

Ever make a wish....
Knowing it can't come true...
Ever waited for a dream...
And watched it slip away from you...
Ever needed to see a truth....
But so blinded by what's gone....
Desperately wanting to see more clearly....
But the reflection is just you...alone...
Ever wonder what its like....
To just wade past the breakers....
Ever wanted to keep going....
Knowing there's no one there to save ya...
To just sit...alone and drift....
Taking in all that surrounds you....
Ever wanted to escape....
Have a start that was brand new?
Seriously seeking for the answers is never an easy task....
Soul searching can take its toll...
But sometimes it's the soul searching in the end...
That was the life lesson...in itself.

Kristy Turnage
1/28/2010