Hi....I'm Kristy...and this is my blog...a place that I come to share what is on my mind and on my heart at the time. You are more than welcome to follow along with me. Hope that maybe there is something that you read here that touches your heart or moves you in some way. Seems it has taken me a lifetime to find my voice...and now that I have....I intend to use it. Live life large...and enjoy the ride.
When in doubt...write...right? That has always been my moto...my escape to some degree....my outlet...my way of expressing...my thoughts...my dreams...my heart...me. When the heaviness of my world...weights as boulders upon my shoulders...giving me no relief...I write...I pour it out...the words that demand to be said...spoken...as if I have no say-so at all ...in the matter. A burden so heavy at times that I find that I am a slave to the weight...to the words. Writing is my way of pouring it all out...all that is...in me...all that is...me. Some things...I welcome...the letting go of...good riddance...I can't let go fast enough...and then there are times that I find...that I FIGHT...within myself....to hold onto...for just a bit longer...to those things that I deemed...as necessary...as real...those things that...to me went beyond description...beyond explanation...beyond labels...beyond words. Dichotomy...oh how I have grown to hate that word...cause for me it represents...a division...a separation...of what I thought...verses...what I think...what I know...do you know just how frustrating that is? Wishing I could whip the slate clean...un-do....all that...has undone me. To not know...what I know...Oh how delusional that sounds...knowing that we can't learn the lesson...without the test...have the resolution...minus the trial...have the victory...without the battle scars...to feel nothing but love...and none of the lose. If only it was as simply as writing it all out...and being done with it. Life...sometimes is just not that easy. As if...putting it on paper...could erase all of life's hurts...all the pain...all the deception...some hurts can't let go of us so easily...some I guess we have to trust that time will take care of.
Truly...we are all a part of something... That is so much greater...than ourselves. Greater than what we could ever imagine... Yet, still defined by the power of one.
I have come to realize that sometimes...and maybe even most times...that it's in the valley's of our lives...and when we are at our weakest...that we really find out how great our God is...and what He is capable of...how strong He is...and just how far His love reaches. If you know me at all...then you know that I am hands down...a Daddy's girl. Now don't think for one minute that I care any less for my Mama...cause I don't...but I am reconciled to the fact that a Daddy's girl...I am. For those that know my family...then you know that my father can no longer walk on his own...his speech is severely impaired...and he can no longer see as he once could. My mother is his primary caregiver 24 hours a day...everyday. On Sunday...Father's Day...in the midst of having all my family over for the Father's Day celebration, my mama shared this precious truth with me. If my memory serves me correctly...we were talking about diets (of all things)...when the conversation changed quickly as mama said..."Kristy, I told your daddy this morning...that I pray to God every morning...that He(God)...will help me...to be strong enough "today"...to take care of him(my daddy)"...and that one statement touched my heart. It went to the very core of who I am. I honestly, don't think she even realized just how much that one sentence moved me. How many of us are that selfless? To pray for strength for ourselves is one thing...but to pray for strength...for someone else...I admit...that goes beyond my normal scope of prayer. Forgive me, Lord. At 40...I am still learning from my folks...on how to live...how to love...and how to trust...and for that I am so ever thankful!
In a world that continues to try to tell us who we are ....Here we stand...just being who we are...and we are who we are and as strong as we are because of the struggles and trials that we have not only endured but also come through. So here I am! Stronger!
