Never thought I'd ever say this...
But...there are times...
That I long...to just be...empty.
Void of it all...
Poured out...done...
No longer the carrier...of things...
Broken promises...burdens...hurts...pain...brokenness...
Sad secrets...never to be spoken...shared in confidence...
Poured out of one broken vessel...into another...
Willingly...taken in...consumed...processed...dealt with...felt.
I feel it in the very depth of me...of who I am...
It goes to my very core...a hurt beyond description...
A hurt that was never mine...alone...
But mine to bare...to carry...to support...
Sometimes I find that I am just...tired...
Heart tired...bone tired...emotionally tired...
It's then that...
I long to crawl into my mama's lap...
Hear her say..."shush...it's okay...you're okay...
Those two words...they make everything perfect...
"You're okay"..."I've got you...
You're safe...stop your fretting...just be quiet"...
As her hand softly brushes my hair from my face...
Oh, to be back there...innocent...pure...
As all children should be...sigh...
Guess, I'm too old for that now...
Today I find that I am just tired...
Tired and yet, I struggle with that as well...
If I don't carry the burden...who will?
Who will hurt for that one in need?
Who will stand in the gap...on their behalf?
Who will be the bridge?
Who will feel their pain? See their hurt?
Look beyond the mask...to what's real?
Burdens so heavy... that the weight consumes...
A tangible heaviness on your chest...
At times...making it hard to breath...
A task...not many volunteer for...
There are not many accolades...
Bestowed upon the one...in this position...
I can honestly say in life.... for me...
It's never been about titles...position...
Power...or money...
That's never been what I am about...
For some...maybe...but not for me...
I love people...and for this position...
The only skill necessary...
Is a willingness to serve.
And...that I have...and will.
But if it's okay...for just this moment...
For this second...
Could I just be...
Empty.
Kristy Turnage
2/22/2011
But...there are times...
That I long...to just be...empty.
Void of it all...
Poured out...done...
No longer the carrier...of things...
Broken promises...burdens...hurts...pain...brokenness...
Sad secrets...never to be spoken...shared in confidence...
Poured out of one broken vessel...into another...
Willingly...taken in...consumed...processed...dealt with...felt.
I feel it in the very depth of me...of who I am...
It goes to my very core...a hurt beyond description...
A hurt that was never mine...alone...
But mine to bare...to carry...to support...
Sometimes I find that I am just...tired...
Heart tired...bone tired...emotionally tired...
It's then that...
I long to crawl into my mama's lap...
Hear her say..."shush...it's okay...you're okay...
Those two words...they make everything perfect...
"You're okay"..."I've got you...
You're safe...stop your fretting...just be quiet"...
As her hand softly brushes my hair from my face...
Oh, to be back there...innocent...pure...
As all children should be...sigh...
Guess, I'm too old for that now...
Today I find that I am just tired...
Tired and yet, I struggle with that as well...
If I don't carry the burden...who will?
Who will hurt for that one in need?
Who will stand in the gap...on their behalf?
Who will be the bridge?
Who will feel their pain? See their hurt?
Look beyond the mask...to what's real?
Burdens so heavy... that the weight consumes...
A tangible heaviness on your chest...
At times...making it hard to breath...
A task...not many volunteer for...
There are not many accolades...
Bestowed upon the one...in this position...
I can honestly say in life.... for me...
It's never been about titles...position...
Power...or money...
That's never been what I am about...
For some...maybe...but not for me...
I love people...and for this position...
The only skill necessary...
Is a willingness to serve.
And...that I have...and will.
But if it's okay...for just this moment...
For this second...
Could I just be...
Empty.
Kristy Turnage
2/22/2011
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