My Heart Cries Out

There are times...I find...
That my heart...cries out...
It simply...just cries out....
From the very depth...of who I am...
It cries out...as unto the deep...

Screaming even...wondering...
Can anybody...hear me?
Feel my pain...my hurt?
Sometimes I feel stuck in this place...
Of heartache...of hurt...of grief...
Searching for the ability...to just breath...
That simple act...no longer comes naturally...
Conscious effort has to now be made...
Each inhale a painful reminder...
Each exhale a sacrificial sigh...
Sometimes it's as though...
I am screaming out...to deaf ears?
Wondering why...I have to scream...at all?
Is it that hard...to hear...me?
To just listen? Really?
Wish I could understand the depth...
To which I feel things...it's so deep...
So very deeply...I find I hurt for people...
Deep within me is this need...to make things right...
To fix all the brokenness...that touches my life...
My heart cries out...for the pain...I feel...but can not fix...
My heart cries out for the pain that I carry...
Inflicted by others...yet...carried by me...
My heart cries out...for friendships...
Built on truth...common-ground...and honesty...
Sharing a sacred bond...held to a higher standard...
That left only pain and deception...in it's wake...
But mostly...the selfish part of me...cries out...
To be free...of this painful burden...this heavy weight...
To be able to move on...move forward...pain-free...
It's the heart that searches...for reassurance.
That seeks out the truth...
And not the truth as displayed...today...
But consistent...today and tomorrow...
Is it too much to ask for a constant?
Something steady to hold too? Solid ground?
Something trustworthy...reliable.
Can people just please...hold your ground...
I mean...really...consistency people...
It's not that hard...
But it is...key.
But...until then...I am here...and for you...
My heart cries out.

Kristy Turnage
3-14-11